And The Award Goes To...Today started out like most days. I woke up, went to work, clocked in, and proceeded to go about my daily routine. I was was going to have a great day. Sure, this isn't the job that I always dreamed of having, but it'll do for now and I'm going to make the best of it. I did pretty well throughout the day until it happened...the meeting. I went to an hour long meeting that was supposed to be fun. People were going to be recognized for a job well done and we were going to learn more about each other. Now I'll admit, I like to hear my name being read aloud so that I can get my certificate that was printed off of the copier only moments ago. I realize that it's just a piece of paper but it means something to me. The award that was being given out today was to the manager who had given the most recognition to the agents on their team. I had worked hard this past month and made it a point to send thank you cards to 14 different advocates within the past 2 weeks. I had sent emails out letting people know what a great job they were doing. I have this one in the bag. I anxiously sat through the hour long meeting awaiting the time when my name would be called and I would get up and receive my certificate. Of course I would act as though I was surprised to get such an award. “Me? I just can't believe it! Thank you so much to my manager for recognizing me!” These were the words that I would say. As I began to form my acceptance speech in my head it was time...the certificates were in hand and all 50 of us in the room sat poised and ready (okay, maybe I was the only one who sat poised and ready). My manager began with a speech about how “This award goes to a manager who works extra hard at recognition. She (she!!!! I knew it!!) is creative (yes, yes...) and goes the extra mile to make others feel appreciated. Congratulations (this is it! Should I start standing up?) to....not Erica. Okay, so she said the name of someone else at this point. I was completely and utterly crushed. “I never win anything! I never get picked! She hates me..my manager actually hates me.” My mind continued on as I managed to fake a smile and attempted a pathetic golf clap. “This is a conspiracy. She wants to fire me...I knew it! Why am I wasting my time here?” Then my new theme song became abundantly clear. As I began to hum the words to “Take this job and shove it” in my head, the meeting was over and I was left to ponder my life as I walked back to my desk. I fumed for the next two hours until it was time to go home. I got into the car and recounted my tail of misfortune and injustice to my husband who also attended the meeting. I told him how hard I had worked and how much I felt left out of everything. Suddenly this crappy certificate became a Nobel Peace Prize to me and my life was left in ruins because I had been denied it. My husband was weary but patient and asked me if I wanted to eat at a small cafe to help take my mind off of my day. I sourly agreed and we picked up our daughter from daycare and continued on to our destination. We got to the small cafe and a pleasant, young waitress greeted us with tired eyes. She smiled and invited us to sit down. As she sat us at our table of choice and gave us our menus she cooed over our daughter. She told us that she had a son who was ten months old and that he had eight teeth. Eight teeth! Wow, my daughter only had four. She then went on to tell us about how her son gnaws at the side of his crib at night and wakes us with paint chips on his cheeks in the morning. We ordered our food and every 10 minutes or so the waitress would come back and tell me how cute my daughter was and then tell me more about her son. I found that I related to her stories and truly enjoyed her company. As she brought me the check to pay for the dinner it occurred to me that my stress of the day was gone. Gone were my worries about not hearing my name called for a certificate. I no longer felt that there was a conspiracy to fire me. I realized that I am more than my job and that although a job gives me a paycheck, it is simply nothing more than that, a paycheck. Sure, I spent 40 hours a week there, but it does not define me. I am a mother, a wife, a friend, and someone who is destined to be happy. I live in this moment and realize that each moment is precious. I am lucky to breathe each breath and as my heart beats I begin to feel how truly alive I am. I looked around and saw the sun beginning to set and the patrons in the cafe talking and laughing. I saw the waitress with her genuine smile as she told us to have a great night and come back soon. How lucky I am to have realized this. Who needs a certificate when I have found all of this in a matter of moments?
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