Murphy the Wedding Planner

by Howard Slacum

Murphy is the preeminent wedding-planner.

While being a groom has eluded me, I have played several roles in weddings. I have been a friend of the family, a groomsman and a bridesman. Each of those times, Murphy showed-up. Most recently, I was an impromptu best man at a wedding planned to be so simple that little could go awry.

Two of my best friends were marrying each other. They have been a couple for a few years and once they became engaged they did not want to delay getting married. While getting married was important the pageantry associated with most weddings was not. Being ardent Atheists on a tight budget, they wanted a very small non-church wedding.

The plan was flexible simplicity itself. Since it was summer in Texas, they would have a casual-attire wedding under a to-be-decided-at-the-time tree in the city park just down the street. If it rained, they would use the gazebo. There would be no procession and no maid-of-honor, best man or anyone else standing with the bride and groom. A friend who is a pastor agreed to perform the ceremony and simply leave out all references to God. Afterwards, the small wedding party would have dinner wherever the GPS led.

On the day of the wedding, Murphy was the first to arrive.

The bride and her sister had gone shopping to pickup a few things. While the groom was home trying to decide between wearing shorts or jeans, Murphy convinced the bride to buy a not-so-casual dress. And although it wasn't a wedding gown it was suitable for a semi-formal evening.

The groom, lacking any semi-formal shorts or jeans or anything comparable to the dress, was quite agitated. Murphy smiled, pat himself on the back and made the groom go clothes shopping (which all men soooo enjoy). The agitation lingered until some time after he put his new tie on.

Shortly thereafter, the small wedding party (their two children, the bride?s sister, the groom?s mother, the pastor, his wife and I) met at the couple's apartment and were ready to drive the short distance to the park. Murphy chauffeured.

A faint misting rain began falling while we decided what cars to carpool in and made our way to the park. We did not have to drive far along the park's crowded road to realize a large event was being held there. Our needs were simple, though, and we drove on undeterred then parked.

We exited the cars and were greeted by the thunderous sounds of not-wedding-appropriate music. The light mist had become a light rain. It didn't warrant building an ark but the trees would not prevent us from being soaked by the time the ceremony concluded. And the gazebo was right next to the music.

While the quickly dampening bride and groom struggled with their options or lack thereof,the pastor mentioned that they could use his church (which happened to be about a forty-minute drive away).

The ardent atheists debated between a church-wedding, getting soaked under the trees or using the gazebo beside the mountainous speakers that could not quite drown out the sound of Murphy's giggling.

About forty-five minutes later, we arrived at a dark strip-mall where the church resided. Upon entering the church, the well-intentioned pastor spasmed into church-wedding mode. In a bewildering flurry of orchestration, the simple (just the bride and groom before the pastor) plan metamorphosed into one with a maid-of-honor, best man, the giving-away-the-bride and a procession.

All references to God were included and each was noticed by both the bride and groom.

Afterward, the pastor successfully insisted that they take their wedding pictures with his church?s banner in the background.

Murphy beamed satisfaction. He took their seemingly simple, safe wedding plan and turned it upside down. Casual became semi-formal. Outside and in the park just down the street became inside and forty-five minutes into the heart of a city. The few who were to be in the audience became part of the ceremony. Ardent Atheists were wed in a church with traditional religious vows.

But Murphy was not beaming because he ruined their wedding. After the groom put his tie on, the bride and groom took every twist of the road without losing sight of why they were on the road. And despite what Murphy had done, when the bride and groom stood before the pastor they smiled the nervous blissful smiles of two people hopelessly in love.

Murphy is never invited to weddings and is never mentioned on the wedding program, but he cares about the couple. He challenges them to not let the trivialities of the wedding blind them to the purpose that led to it. Before the vows, he reminds them that even in marriage things will happen that can cause them to lose sight of what is truly important; things that can slowly and irreparably erode their marriage.

My two dear friends smiled their way through his harmless shenanigans without losing the joy of their union. And I bore witness to the marriage of a couple who demonstrated that, together, they can overcome adversity.

The wedding was perfect.



© 2008 Howard Slacum